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“How did you know about that?” I ask, honestly floored at the thought of my sweet mother keeping tabs on me.
“Like I said, dear. People talk,” she winks. “Just help Ava out. She could use a friend.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you want us to be real good friends,” I snort.
“I’ve never said anything to make you think otherwise,” she offers, her eyebrow cocked slightly to drive her point home. “However, if it should develop into something more…”
“Ma,” I cut her off, following her into the kitchen and grabbing our cups, making each of us a glass of iced tea as she starts setting the table. “Stop trying to marry me off. I’m fine.”
“You, my darling, beautiful boy, are many things, but fine isn’t one of them,” she argues, wagging her finger up at me to drive her point home. “You’re up there all alone for days at a time in that house and you’re going to grow old and cranky if you don’t listen to your mother.”
“I’m thirty-five, Ma. I’m not a hundred,” I deadpan. “And I don’t have the time or desire for a girlfriend right now. Even if I did, I barely know this woman,” I shake my head. “And don’t tell me that doesn’t matter because of you and Pop. This ain’t that.”
“We barely know anyone outside of our parents until we’re nearly grown, son. That’s why you talk to people. That circle of boys you hang around with is all fine and good, but unless you’re keeping one heck of a secret from me, you won’t be finding any kind of happy ending with Nicholas and Andrew. You could get to know Ava. It wouldn’t kill you to make a new friend whom could give me beautiful grandbabies before I’m in the dirt.”
“Yeah and it wouldn’t kill you to stop trying to pawn your neighbors off on me.”
“Fine!” she laughs, making me shake my head. “You know, I only want you to be happy.”
“I know,” I admit, kissing her cheek as she hands me a plate. “And I am. I’ve got my Ma and I’ve got my dog. What else do I need?” I glance over at her, watching her calculate her answer before I put my free hand up and cut her off with a smirk. “Don’t answer that.”
“Fine,” she chuckles, both of us sitting.
We eat dinner and catch up on the week, her giving me the town gossip while I tell her about work and the game I know she has no interest in, but insisted I recap for her. After helping her clean-up and a short visit, I notice her yawning and it pulls one from me, as well. I stand from my seat on her couch and give her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, kid,” she smiles, hugging me tighter before finally releasing me, watching me move toward the trash can to empty it for her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I smile, pulling another bag from the box and making quick work of the task. “You need me to help you with anything before I head out?”
“No,” she shakes her head.
“Okay, well if you need anything, let me know. I’ve got a job in Lumsford the next couple weeks, so I might be getting home a little later than usual, but…”
“I know,” she cuts me off, patting my face affectionately. “I’ll be just fine, kid.”
“Alright,” I smile. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good,” she says, reaching for the door. “Be a good boy for your papa,” she tells Rocky, the combination between her altered voice and his wagging tail making me smirk. “You boys be safe.”
“We will,” I promise.
I’m halfway to my truck when she calls out to me once more, pulling my eyes back toward her front door.
“I forgot to tell you,” she starts, my feet moving toward her again. “I’ve got an appointment next Monday with my doctor at three. If you can’t take off to drive me…”
“I’ll be here,” I cut her off. “Everything okay?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowing in concern. “You just had one the other day.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she waves me off. “You know they like to do all those tests on me now that I’m old.”
“You’re not that old,” I chuckle. “But yes. I’ll take you to your appointment. I just have to talk to Dale in the morning and I’ll let him know. I’m sure it’ll be no problem at all.”
“Thank you, honey,” she smiles, making me nod. “You’re a good boy.”
“Yeah? Well, you’re a good mom,” I counter, making her smile wider. “Thank you for making me mashed potatoes.”
“You’re welcome,” she chuckles. “Drive safe.”
I head back toward my truck, surprised when I don’t find Rocky right beside me as usual. I call for him and hear him bark, surprised when a light giggle fills the air right behind it.
“I think I might know where he is, son.”
I glance over the small, white fence that separates my mom’s yard from what used to be Mr. Sawyer’s place and find Rocky sitting calmly at Ava’s feet, reveling in the attention she’s giving him. I make my way towards them just in time for him to fall lazily on his back, legs poised for belly rubbing.
“Well, he’s never been known for his subtlety,” I sigh, meeting his brown eyes as he twists to glance up at me, no apology to be found in them. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s alright,” Ava shakes her head. “I didn’t know your mom had a dog.”
“He’s mine,” I reply, pulling her eyes up as she nods in understanding.
“Well, he’s very sweet,” she remarks, giving his belly a final scratch before patting him and smiling as he glances up at her in offense for having stopped. “What’s his name?”
“Rocky.”
“Hello, Rocky,” she says sweetly, scratching his chin once more and smiling wider as he licks her cheek. “It’s very nice to meet such a sweet puppy.”
I watch them in silence, honestly somewhat surprised at how easily he’s found comfort with her. I’m about to remark as much when my mom’s voice breaks through the quiet and beats me to it.
“Well, would you look at that,” she sighs. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so taken so quickly.”
“Really?” Ava asks, surprised as well. “He came right over to me.”
“Has he ever done that before, Nathan?”
“No, ma’am,” I admit. “Not since he’s been with me anyway.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Ava replies as she scratches his ears. “He appears to be quite the ladies’ man.”
My face contorts slightly as I recall the last girl I’d dated and how Rocky growled at her incessantly each time he was near her. It wasn’t the first time he’d had that type of reaction to someone I’d introduced him to. This, however? Well, this reaction was completely new to us both.
“He’s always been more of a one-man dog,” I say quietly. Ava’s eyes move to mine and she’s about to respond when my mom’s voice cuts us off once more.
“You know, they say dogs are very good judges of character,” she offers suggestively. “Seems to me you were just bringing the wrong kind of girls around him,” she shrugs. “There’s a lot to be said for him warming up to certain individuals, Nathan. Hmm? If you won’t listen to your mother, at least listen to your dog.”
I stare off into the darkness, my deadpan expression the only thing holding in the low groan of embarrassment my mother’s words are threatening to pull from me. Ava does her best to restrain her low snicker as my mom says goodnight, offering us privacy I can assume quite confidently neither of us want.
“Sorry about that,” I sigh, still shaking my head as I glance back down at her. “She’s never been known for her subtlety, either.”
Chapter Five
Ava
“Your total is ninety-one fifty-three,” I say quietly, offering the best smile I can manage over the top of my register.
I’m nearly finished with my third day of work at the local grocery store. While I’m exhausted, I’m also grateful for both the job and the distraction it’s granted. Although I still haven’t found the confidence needed to pull me fr
om the house for much else, the promise of regaining some of the independence I lost for so long is something I hadn’t realized just how much I needed until now.
“Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” the older man on the other side of the register remarks, pulling a nod from me.
“Yes, sir. It sure is,” I reply, waiting patiently for him to count out his change and hand it over to me.
“You’re Thomas’ girl, aren’t you?” he asks, my heart clenching slightly in my chest as I nod.
“Yes, sir.”
“I was real sorry to hear about him passing,” he offers solemnly. “Thomas was a good man.”
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “I appreciate you saying that.”
He hands me his money and I hand him his receipt, thanking him again for his sympathy.
This is one of the drawbacks of a small town. Even those you don’t remember may always remember you. While that thought can be comforting in so many ways, it’s a hard one to escape when you need it most.
Ever since coming back here, I’ve heard the hushed remarks, noticed the not-so-subtle sideways glances. I can’t say it ever comes as a surprise.
Not only had my father remained active in the community after my mother died, I grew up here and so did Eddie.
He was the star quarterback, his parents owned all three of the oversized car dealerships in the area, practically making them celebrities in our small town.
At face value, they were the model family. When he asked me out, I was floored. I thought maybe Eddie was God’s way of trying to make up for taking my mother from us when I was so young or making my father work sixteen-hour days to maintain our humble existence.
At first, I was convinced this was fact. He opened doors for me, ran to the sidelines at the start of every game, eager for a good luck kiss. Wearing his letterman’s jacket through the halls made me the envy of the very girls who’d spent the first year of high school making fun of me.
When it all started, he was nothing short of a dream guy.
It wasn’t long before I learned he would become my greatest nightmare.
It started subtle, but with every victory party, the more the alcohol flowed, the more pronounced his true colors began to slip through the cracks of his feigned perfection. By the time we were seniors, I was already becoming a master at using makeup to cover the bruises.
I thought moving across the country, showing him my loyalty and unwavering support would make him happy. When he proposed, I was sure marriage would make him love me more, show me the respect I craved like oxygen.
It didn’t, though. It only made it harder to get away from him.
But none of the people here ever saw that side of Eddie. To them, he’s still the golden child of our local celebrities, the same hometown hero that scored the winning touchdown the year we finally went to state.
And I would forever be the foolish girl who walked away from him and came crawling back.
I’ve grown used to it, but it doesn’t make it much easier knowing the same people serving up condolences about the only person who ever believed me are also whispering their judgments when I turn my back.
It’s hard to feel at home around people like that.
I’m collecting myself, clearing my throat as I fight the sharp pinch of tears threatening behind my eyes when I hear his voice cutting through my emotions, pulling me back to reality.
“That’s gotta suck,” Nathan says quietly, his eyes softening as I wipe the traitor tear away from my cheek as discreetly as possible.
“It’s a very big comfort knowing your father touched more lives than just yours,” I reason, clearing my throat. “But yes,” I whisper, reaching for his items. “Yes, sucks is an appropriate description most days.”
“I’m sorry,” he offers, the sincerity and sentiment in his voice something I can’t help but appreciate.
“It’s all just part of it,” I wave him off, trying to smile through my pain, but grateful for the feeling in my chest telling me that I somehow just know I don’t have to with him.
I’m thinking about that, the odd comfort I’ve found in a virtual stranger as I stand behind a register at the grocery store, when I glance over at his items once more.
“I take it your picking things up for your mother?” I ask as I scan the control-top panty hose and reach for the bird feed, sugar free butterscotch, fig bars and extra calcium infused orange juice.
“Nah, this is just a typical night at the pad,” he sighs, his eyes dancing when I glance up at him in surprise. His words make me laugh loudly, clamping my hand over my mouth in surprise as he chuckles with me. “I have supper with her a few nights a week, so I thought I’d grab her a few things before I head over.”
“That’s nice of you,” I reply, calming from my fit of giggles as I begin bagging his items. “Has she been doing alright? I’ve not seen her outside much over the last few days.”
“Really?” he asks, internally scratching his head. “She said she’s been out in her garden.”
“Oh,” I say, biting my lip in thought. “Well, I’ve also been here for a couple of days now. We must’ve missed each other.”
“Yeah. Yeah, maybe…” he shrugs, his voice trailing off slightly.
A flash of guilt moves through me as I watch him contemplate my words with worry before he shakes his head clear and glances at the monitor in front of him, taking in the total. He reaches for his wallet, the way his dark hair falls boyishly over his brow slightly reminding me of how he looked back when we were in high school. I really take him in for the first time maybe ever, the lightness of his green eyes against his tanned skin as he raises them to me and hands me his card surprising me. It’s the first time I’ve seen him up close and in the daylight. I hadn’t realized just how handsome he really is until now.
“Here you go,” I say quietly, handing him his card back before I slip his receipt into one of his bags and slide them over to him.
“Thanks,” he nods. “I guess I’ll see you later on tonight.”
“Tonight?” I ask, confused. “What’s tonight?”
“The festival,” he smirks. “You’re coming, aren’t you?”
I think on his words and as I recall one of the town’s most beloved celebrations, I can’t help but smile to myself.
“I completely forgot about it,” I admit. “I guess I probably won’t go. I have to work in the morning and it’s been so long since I was home, I didn’t even think of it.”
“You can’t stay home,” he argues, thinking for a quick moment before he reluctantly meets my eyes once more. “Yeah, you can’t stay home. It’s opening night. You can miss all the other nights, but not the first one.” I’m considering putting up more of a fight, but he cuts me off, giving the counter a small tap. “We’re leaving at seven. I’ll stop by and pick you up.”
“Nathan, that’s very nice, but I’m not sure I’m looking to date right now.”
“Who said anything about a date?” he asks, making me blush awkwardly. “Seriously, Ava. I don’t know you well, but from the looks of it, you’ve had a rough couple of weeks and it’d do you some good to get out and have some fun. A few of my friends and I go every year. There’s gonna be music, good food, beer if you’re into that. It’s a lot of fun. You should come with us.”
I take in his sincere eyes, biting on my lip for a moment before the sound of a throat clearing behind me pulls me away from him.
“Sorry,” I tell the customer waiting, quite impatiently, on the other side of the register. “How are you?”
“In a hurry,” the lady snips, making me stifle an eye roll.
“So, seven o’clock?” Nathan repeats, pulling my eyes to his once more.
“Okay,” I blurt, bagging the customers items in a hurry. “Yes, Nathan. I’ll see you at seven.”
“Awesome,” he smiles. “Oh, and you’ve gotta start calling me Nate,” he insists. “Only my mother calls me by my full name.”
“Alright
,” I smirk. “Nate it is.”
“I’ll see you at seven for our non-date.”
Chapter Six
Ava
By the time I get home, it’s after six and nerves are already swarming in my chest.
I know he’d promised this wasn’t a date and I believe him, but that doesn’t do much to help my anxiety right now.
Not only will tonight be the first time I’d ventured out of my father’s house since I arrived home for something outside of work, it’s the first time I’ll be seeing people I’ve not seen in years. People who likely were there at the beginning of what became a tumultuous relationship with Eddie.
I’m not looking forward to the questions, the prying eyes and the exposed feeling tonight is going to surely bring. However, Nate had been right this afternoon. I’ve not left the house in weeks. While I wasn’t ready before, maybe not even now, I know I can’t just stay locked up inside the safety of these walls. Doing that to myself isn’t that far off from the beginning stages of what I’d endured in my marriage. I silently begged for freedom for years and now that I have it, I should embrace it for all it’s worth.
It’s what my father would want.
Hell, it’s what I want, even if I’m scared shitless to take that leap.
I hop in the shower and get changed and ready as fast as I can, knowing if I don’t force myself to do it, I’ll use it as an excuse to lock myself inside for yet another long and depressing night.
I’m pacing the kitchen with a glass of water when the sound of his knock vibrates through the house, making me come to a stop in the middle of the room.
Shit… maybe I can still get out of it.
How badly do I really need to get out of the house?
Surely not badly enough to warrant a panic attack.
I’m going over the options in my mind, tossing and saving the best and worst of the bunch when I pull the door open and find him waiting patiently for me on my porch.
“If you’re trying to find a way to get out of this, you should have called me an hour ago.”